為什么是他們得滿分:高考英語滿分作文賞析
2010-05-12 09:14:27e度論壇文章作者:超級(jí)大黃蜂
作文題目
假設(shè)你是李華,你的英國筆友Bob將于九月到你所在城市的建新華文學(xué)校學(xué)中文,來信請(qǐng)你在學(xué)校附近為他找一套住房。請(qǐng)根據(jù)圖畫提供的信息,寫信介紹住房的情況,并告知住房面積為25平方米,月租500元。
注意:1.詞數(shù):100左右:
2.參考詞匯:房租—Tent(n.).
I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.
Hope you will come here soon!
All the best!
Yours,
Li Hua
滿分理由
本文格式正確,意思表述完整,行文流暢自然。作者在寫作過程中注意長短句并用,還使用了以 ‘which,’引導(dǎo)的非限定性定語從句,從而使文章層次分明,富于變化,不愧為考場佳作。
Dear Bob,
Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you.
I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan per month.
Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then I’U be able to meet you at the airport, see you.
Best wishes !
Yours,
Li Hua
滿分理由
本文格式正確,內(nèi)容完整,表述清楚,銜接緊密流暢,時(shí)態(tài)語態(tài)使用準(zhǔn)確,特別是結(jié)尾末段適度的發(fā)揮,既充實(shí)了內(nèi)容,又符合邏輯,成為本文與眾不同的亮點(diǎn)。
Dear Bob,
How are you these days?
I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese. You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which I think is pretty good. The place is on Fang Cao Street which is near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin Chinese School.
There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom. Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.
Yours,
Li Hua
滿分理由
本文內(nèi)在邏輯性很強(qiáng),由遠(yuǎn)及近。由外及內(nèi),層次分明,錯(cuò)落有致。同時(shí)讓步狀語從句運(yùn)用得恰到好處,很出彩,再則結(jié)構(gòu)完整,從開頭的問候語到結(jié)尾都很完備。
作文:
Dear Bob,
I’m glad to hear from you.
Welcome to our city in september. I’ve found a suitable house for you.
The house is on Fang Cao Street, not far from the Jianxin Chinese School. If you take the No.11 bus, it is just one stop.
It is a flat on the third floor of a building. It has three rooms, a living-room, a bathroom and a kitchen. You can cook yourself. The mirror, the basin and the bathtub are very convenient for you. In the living-room, there is a bed, a sofa and a desk with chair. The desk is next to the window. It will be good for study. The total size is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan a month.
Will you be satisfied with this flat, or you want another one? Just let me know. I’ll try my best to help you.
Yours,
Li Hua
滿分理由
本文內(nèi)容詳實(shí),描述具體細(xì)膩,用詞適當(dāng)準(zhǔn)確,如“suitable house”、“not far from’’等,另外文中的選擇疑問句也很有新意。